Last day of attachments- for the first week x/ Everyone was so happy la. Haha. Finally can get more rest (for our legs especially. Lol). Today was busy. First thing in the morning, was asked to assist in bed bathing. I don't like bathing patients, I'll end up feeling very dirty myself =/ Most of us were just basically counting down either for the next break, or for work to be over! Our favourite times are 3pm and 9pm. Haha!
Made alot of new friends within this week. Though most of them are just "hi-bye-friends", I believe that we'll be much more bonded towards the end of attachments (: God, please provide opportunities! I think I know of one, but I've never talked to her before. Only smiled at her just today =/
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Omg. This is so demoralising. Stress is piling up one after another. It's always like this. As soon as I'm stressed over something, the next one comes right after that. x/ I feel so helpless. And because I tend to repress my emotions, I feel very alone, since no one else knows how I am feeling. &%^$
Why can't she just understand? On the phone just now, I told her since it's holidays, so I went to church. (Well since she said I could go to church on weekdays during holidays. Even if there're attachments now, HOLIDAY MEANS NO SCHOOL. Be it attachments or not, it's a different thing altogether.) Yes, and guess what she said. "You're supposed to rest at home during holidays." Hibernate?! In this case what she meant was that other than going to school, I supposed to be home ALL THE TIME. You see the link? Afterall I'm just a 17 year old (not even there yet) kid. I don't hang out with bad company or whatsoever. I'm doing something I really love and yet it's also forbidden??? I seriously don't understand. I think my life basically revolves around school and church (God) now. NO RECREATION AT ALL. Get what I mean? I enjoy going to church to serve God, and I see it not as work or whatever. I feel so UGH.
I don't like bottling up my feelings. Because.... it's simply very pressurising. Feel so "nan shou". Yes, and God is the solution. The only one. No one else knows how I am feeling. Even if you do understand, there's just no way I can express everything.
Freda, Jordan, Chuting. Looks like I can't play keyboard for the next cell group. All the effort and time taken to plan for this thing is wasted. (I mean for this cell group, not long-term.) I'm really sorry. But there's nothing I can do, is there?
I don't know what to do! x(
I know if I were in someone else's shoes and see myself, I would tell myself: "don't worry, just leave everything to God." Typical statement isn't it? But what does it really mean to "just leave everything to God"? This is what I've been trying to understand. It's easy to say, but when you're in that situation, (you know what I'm going to say), it's not easy to do it. I'm very sure everyone's been in this position at least once before. So yes, please understand when I say something negative. x/
But no matter what happens, I know that God is still watching every step that I make. He is faithful.